It's On Me

August 28, 2023
Psychotherapist Kuburic debuts with a liberating guide to confronting “self loss” and tackling “arguably the two most daunting questions: Who am I? Why am I here?” After surviving a traumatic childhood during the Bosnian and Kosovan wars, ending up in a loveless marriage, and enduring a challenging graduate school program, the author at 24 experienced a panic attack that spurred her to realize she was suffering from self loss, or the lack of “congruence” with “who we truly are” that lies “at the heart of so much... human suffering.” According to Kuburic, this “estrangement” can be caused by strict rules from one’s family or religion, “self betrayals,” or “life-altering events” that erode one’s sense of agency. As a corrective, readers should acknowledge the self-loss and their own “actions that have perpetuated” it, before “decluttering” their lives of the thoughts, habits, and relationships that contradict their “true Self” (“Much like when I got rid of an itchy wool sweater to make space in my suitcase, I decided to stop thinking about the opinions people had about my pending divorce”). Kuburic skillfully weaves therapeutic know-how with intimate personal reflections to chart a path toward an “authentic, free, and meaningful” life that aligns with one’s morals, even if it’s not always “easy, pleasant, or perfect.” This provides much-needed motivation for the emotionally adrift.